The start!
So, it’s about time I took a serious look at my life and see how it has been.
I think I’ve had a lot of good chances, taken many of them, and screwed most of them up. I’ve been selfish and greedy most of my life and I have no concept or ability for self denial. I’ve always started out any major changes or events with good intentions but never seem to have carried it through to the end. Job changes, two failed marriages, now a tenant when I have owned my own houses and a ridiculous, for my situation, amount of debt to business, friends and family.
It’s not looking very good is it?
The serious accident in 1996 (*1) changed the whole of my life without any help from me. I admit that getting the motorbike that I had the accident with was a self indulgence but the results were so big and are going to be felt for the rest of my life!
Looking at the state of my health at the moment I have to wonder just how long the rest of my life will be.
I am 45 years old and 5’ 8” tall.
I weigh 276lbs 19 stones and 9 pounds.
I smoke, varying amounts at the moment but has been 50 daily for a long time.
I do little or no physical exercise these days.
My body Mass Index is 41.1. Over 25 is morbidly Obese!
I think maybe it is time to do something about it and try to make positive changes.
I just finished reading a book “Diary of a Fat Man” by a New Zealand guy called Paul Jeffries and he lost 10 stones in 12 months. He was financially secure and was almost obsessive in his methods. I can’t do it his way, can’t afford it financially as much as anything else, but I do applaud his success and am going to use him as a role model.
We’re a day away from the new month of March 2007 and I will use that as a starting point for my “Trials and Tribulations” with an end date of 15th April 2008, that’ll be 12 years from the accident.
Excepting a win on the national lottery or something I can’t hope to have reduced the amount of money I am paying out in debts by much, if anything, in that time. I’m booked for over 20 years with the debt management company.
There are things I can change for the better though and the way forward is simply making my own decisions and sticking to them. I can make some difference financially in that I will have paid the family debts off by then so I’ll have a bit more money free. At the moment I spend the majority of what I have on cigarettes, food and more cigarettes and food. Both of these things are the main target of my time.
I should weigh somewhere near to the 11 stones 7 pounds level with my height and body frame, that’s a massive weight loss of 118 pounds to make in about 55 weeks, just over 2 pounds a week average! I enjoy eating and actually feel that I am missing something out of my life if I don’t eat when I want to. Problem is what I eat as much as how much. I’m not a fan of the specific diet types and plans but the G.I. diet seems to be a good, workable, one so I’ll look closer into that. Three years ago I was riding, albeit slowly, around 400 to 500 miles per month. In February this year I’ve done less than 50 and that has to have a big effect so I am going to start riding again whether I feel like it or not. It’s cheaper than a Gymnasium at least as I already have bikes and trikes. Most days I am out with my brother and the 1st thought is “Where are we going today?” followed swiftly by “And where do we eat?” This has to stop, for both of us that one. There are days when I can hardly walk with the pain and weakness resulting from the accident but there are other days when it’s just lack of motivation and willpower. I have to start thinking in the positive again. I need a few BIG changes and a lot of small changes, hope they add up to a good result.
I have smoked since I was a child of around 9 years old! I used to do milk rounds or paper rounds and the money was spent on smoking in the main. Things haven’t really changed much in 35 years or so. I want to stop smoking but I don’t want to stop smoking, if that makes any sense? I realise that the pleasure of the cigarette is mainly the relief of the craving from the last one but it IS a pleasure. I’ve gone up and down over the past couple of years and managed a few days here and there with none but it’s always crept back up to full time smoking again. It is restricting me in so many ways, health and finances, and it was smoking that was the root cause of losing my mother in 1996. I have been diagnosed as asthmatic so I am working an uphill road with a sack of coal on my back, the legs are bound to quit one of these days! I’ve felt pleased with myself when I’ve got through a night with only a few smokes but any is too many and I have to accept that now. I’m not going to do the “Last call” and smoke like a chimney until the start but, even if I do have some, it ALL STOPS in the new month. Again, financially, this will help me to pay some of the family debts quicker so I can actually have some money to do the things I should be doing and feel healthy enough to do them.
I need to start taking care of myself and my life in general. Clean and tidy myself and my surroundings. I used to be pretty house proud and these days I am ashamed of having a new visitor to see the squalor that I let myself live in. I’m going to do a Planned roster for household and personal things and try to stick to that all the time, maybe improve it in time?
I’m going to try and keep a record in general of the year or so involved and that way I can look at what works and what doesn’t work for me. I expect I’ll take a few wrong turns but as long as I pass the finishing post I’ll be a lot happier.
I think I’ve had a lot of good chances, taken many of them, and screwed most of them up. I’ve been selfish and greedy most of my life and I have no concept or ability for self denial. I’ve always started out any major changes or events with good intentions but never seem to have carried it through to the end. Job changes, two failed marriages, now a tenant when I have owned my own houses and a ridiculous, for my situation, amount of debt to business, friends and family.
It’s not looking very good is it?
The serious accident in 1996 (*1) changed the whole of my life without any help from me. I admit that getting the motorbike that I had the accident with was a self indulgence but the results were so big and are going to be felt for the rest of my life!
Looking at the state of my health at the moment I have to wonder just how long the rest of my life will be.
I am 45 years old and 5’ 8” tall.
I weigh 276lbs 19 stones and 9 pounds.
I smoke, varying amounts at the moment but has been 50 daily for a long time.
I do little or no physical exercise these days.
My body Mass Index is 41.1. Over 25 is morbidly Obese!
I think maybe it is time to do something about it and try to make positive changes.
I just finished reading a book “Diary of a Fat Man” by a New Zealand guy called Paul Jeffries and he lost 10 stones in 12 months. He was financially secure and was almost obsessive in his methods. I can’t do it his way, can’t afford it financially as much as anything else, but I do applaud his success and am going to use him as a role model.
We’re a day away from the new month of March 2007 and I will use that as a starting point for my “Trials and Tribulations” with an end date of 15th April 2008, that’ll be 12 years from the accident.
Excepting a win on the national lottery or something I can’t hope to have reduced the amount of money I am paying out in debts by much, if anything, in that time. I’m booked for over 20 years with the debt management company.
There are things I can change for the better though and the way forward is simply making my own decisions and sticking to them. I can make some difference financially in that I will have paid the family debts off by then so I’ll have a bit more money free. At the moment I spend the majority of what I have on cigarettes, food and more cigarettes and food. Both of these things are the main target of my time.
I should weigh somewhere near to the 11 stones 7 pounds level with my height and body frame, that’s a massive weight loss of 118 pounds to make in about 55 weeks, just over 2 pounds a week average! I enjoy eating and actually feel that I am missing something out of my life if I don’t eat when I want to. Problem is what I eat as much as how much. I’m not a fan of the specific diet types and plans but the G.I. diet seems to be a good, workable, one so I’ll look closer into that. Three years ago I was riding, albeit slowly, around 400 to 500 miles per month. In February this year I’ve done less than 50 and that has to have a big effect so I am going to start riding again whether I feel like it or not. It’s cheaper than a Gymnasium at least as I already have bikes and trikes. Most days I am out with my brother and the 1st thought is “Where are we going today?” followed swiftly by “And where do we eat?” This has to stop, for both of us that one. There are days when I can hardly walk with the pain and weakness resulting from the accident but there are other days when it’s just lack of motivation and willpower. I have to start thinking in the positive again. I need a few BIG changes and a lot of small changes, hope they add up to a good result.
I have smoked since I was a child of around 9 years old! I used to do milk rounds or paper rounds and the money was spent on smoking in the main. Things haven’t really changed much in 35 years or so. I want to stop smoking but I don’t want to stop smoking, if that makes any sense? I realise that the pleasure of the cigarette is mainly the relief of the craving from the last one but it IS a pleasure. I’ve gone up and down over the past couple of years and managed a few days here and there with none but it’s always crept back up to full time smoking again. It is restricting me in so many ways, health and finances, and it was smoking that was the root cause of losing my mother in 1996. I have been diagnosed as asthmatic so I am working an uphill road with a sack of coal on my back, the legs are bound to quit one of these days! I’ve felt pleased with myself when I’ve got through a night with only a few smokes but any is too many and I have to accept that now. I’m not going to do the “Last call” and smoke like a chimney until the start but, even if I do have some, it ALL STOPS in the new month. Again, financially, this will help me to pay some of the family debts quicker so I can actually have some money to do the things I should be doing and feel healthy enough to do them.
I need to start taking care of myself and my life in general. Clean and tidy myself and my surroundings. I used to be pretty house proud and these days I am ashamed of having a new visitor to see the squalor that I let myself live in. I’m going to do a Planned roster for household and personal things and try to stick to that all the time, maybe improve it in time?
I’m going to try and keep a record in general of the year or so involved and that way I can look at what works and what doesn’t work for me. I expect I’ll take a few wrong turns but as long as I pass the finishing post I’ll be a lot happier.
posted by Pedaldog | 11:37 AM
3 Comments:
Hi PD, I can only try to imagine what stopping the smoking must be like. I was into cycling before I ever even tried it myself, and I felt guilty for - as I saw it - poisoning myself. I think I might have tried making roll-ups using tea leaves at one point, and I didn't think much of that either!
But my friend is finding it just as difficult to stop. She says it isn't just the cravings and using patches, it's about having something to do with her hands when she's not holding a cigarette. I think she's taken to building scale models.
I did wonder, though, if practicing a musical instrument might be a solution? It requires concentration, it's an activity for the hands (and/or feet, depending on how clever you're trying to be), it's not hugely physical unless you take up percussion, and there's a result at the end of it.
Hope it's going well PD. You're describing a lot of changes, it might be a bit of overload to try them all at once. Are you logging your miles yet?
Hi Pedaldog
Just found your blog.
Things seem really tough for you at the moment - but you seem to be doing really well with the smoking - nice one.
I would echo what Vince said - maybe trying to sort everything out at once is asking a bit much. But I'm not one to talk.
I am lucky in that I never got into smoking, but I can really identify with your feelings about eating. For me it's something I do to pass time, when I'm bored or when I'm trying to avoid work or chores. Whenever I go out, my first question is "where do we eat?" - or it's an automatic assumption for me that whenever I meet up with a friend, or go out with the family, that that will involve going somewhere nice for nosh like a pub lunch or getting chips.
I am currently finding it helpful to see a counsellor, who is helping me work through some of the deeper reasons why I overeat.
I don't know if you have ever tried counselling.
Best wishes. I'll keep up with your blog through the Atom feed.
Francis (folkdevil on acf)
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