How to go on from here?

Things turned a bit nasty in June. My Dad had a real and sudden downturn with the cancer and I had to get him to hospital after a fall. Secondaries in his hip meant that they could do nothing but try and ease the pain. He passed on the 11th June and, after seeing him in his last few days, I think it was a mercy. My Brother and I did a stand up and talk at the funeral, nothing religious, just talking memories and the suchlike. After that I suddenly realised that my life had changed with the loss. No more cycling to York and Woodvale with him. No More family get togethers at his house on a Sunday. I also feel a slight sense of freedom that I no longer have to live in guilt at not doing things the way he reckoned they should be done. It's a month since the funeral and today is the first day that I have started to look forward in life since he went. It was agreed earlier in the year that I would not get anything from the estate due to the fact that it would be his posessions financing the paying of my bankruptcy fees and all has gone to the others in the family. I understand that and would have been ashamed if it had been any other way.
Despite his death being from Lung Cancer I am srill sneaking a few smokes here and there, the sign of a true addict! I have been working on the diet but with the lack of cycling and any form of exercise I'm not losing weight yet. I an hoping to get out on my trike a few short rides over the next few weeks and get myself in some sotr of decent shape. I would like to go to the Cycling Rally at Mildenhall this year so that is a target for me now. Main thing is to get on with my life and remember to appreciate the time I have.